tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
