I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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