Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
