She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
