I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
