oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
