Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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