i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
