Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize