Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
