Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
