i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
