Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
