she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
