I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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