fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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