Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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