This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
