Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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