here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
