i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
