I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
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Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
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I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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