Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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