I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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