If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
