I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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