And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize