I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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