When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
