So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
