the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Randomize
