I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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