Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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