I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
