Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
