After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
