Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
