I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
