just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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