my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
