i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
