He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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