I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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