And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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