This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
