he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize