How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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