I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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