i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Say something about gay babies.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
