I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
