remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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