Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
