We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
