They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
