Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
