I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
