check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
