she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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