What a fucking waste of an outfit
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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