How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
