Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
