after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
