you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
True college students do jello shots in the library
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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