Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
