he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
